The Journals of Sylvia Plath, Rachel Cusk - A Life's Work

Sylvia Plath writes about not being able to encompass it all, not being able to read all the books, about being in a state of privilege but still being unhappy, at eighteen years old and it all feels fresh, insightful and real especially overshadowed as it is by her later suicide, a young single mother with two small children in a cold bleak London in the deep freeze of the 1963 winter who put her head in a gas oven. Rachel Cusk writes about the miasma of pregnancy then the terminal tiredness of having a baby that wakes all through the night, about the loss of self that this involves.  Cusk has emerged from this intact, I suspect that this is one of the things that Plath did not emerge intact from. It is certainly such a strong theme in her early journals, the knowledge that childbearing and marriage were going to be a stifling, imprisoning trap.  Although she realises that she does seek a mate, that she does not want to live her life without the intensity of a proper relationship, she also sees the dangers that this has for a woman in the 1950s oh so clearly. 

Cusk's book was lauded as honest and for not shrinking from the negative aspects of being the mother of a small baby - negative aspects being a very dry and neutral way of referring to the absolute haze of emotion and loss of identity that she describes so well. Every prospective mother ( and father)should read it, those who are already parents will surely recognise some of their darkest moments written here.  I'd read somewhere that Cusk had provoked furious reactions for portraying such a dark picture of motherhood and pregnancy and birth and I wondered who these people were. The Daily Mail, I guessed, so I did a search for "Daily Mail Rachel Cusk a life's work", and sure enough, first link I hit has this quotable little piece of garbage:

"In 2001 Rachel wrote a coruscating attack on motherhood, called A Life's Work.Her picture of maternity wasn't warts and all, it was just warts."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-367512/Saving-Rachel-Cusk.html#ixzz4LRtzPRoc Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

It's in inaccurate and lazy reading of A Life's Work, which certainly does dwell on the "warts" ( a typical grubby, disease like choice of words for the Daily Mail), but it certainly isn't "just warts" - there are lots of little quotes about the joys of this period as well - it's just that this is attempting to make heard and visible these unspoken trials. It's not "a coruscating attack on motherhood", it's a description of what it's like, with the darker parts emphasized.  But the Daily Mail is so easy to criticise precisely because it is so lazy and loathable. I thought I'd have a look at some of the Amazon reviews. Now, nineteen of the twenty-one Amazon reviewers gave it 4 or 5 stars and lots of praise. Two reviewers didn't. One of those, her Dad(!), bought it for her and she found it so far from her own experience (lucky her I can't help thinking, or maybe she is just mentally glossing over the interminable lack of sleep of baby carers or maybe her baby just slept - who knows, stranger things have been known) that she could only give it two stars. The other one, the one star reviewer is more interesting. Here's her review in its entirety:

Absolutely appalling, insane rants on motherhood, 28 July 2011 "I started the book yesterday and today I have decided to light our BBQ with it. It is not worth the paper it's printed on. I am shocked at people's glowing reviews, especially those that seem to find humor in the author's depressing navel-gazing style. This has absolutely nothing to do with whether she loves her children or not. I don't think someone that self-absorbed can love anything or anyone at all. It's obvious that she thinks of herself as the intellectual, independent woman suddenly imprisoned by motherhood, but she comes across as depressed and ranting character from Sex and the City.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-reviews/R188NQ8P9E3QA/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0571238491 

Aside from not having much idea how to light BBQs, she's obviously horrified that anyone could feel such things about motherhood, so of course the book:

 " is not worth the paper it's printed on" 

It's a very strong reaction which seems to be saying "how dare someone have such a view of motherhood, and even if she does, how dare she express it " This seems to me to be a very limited world view. Maybe she's in denial of her own experience? - she must be a mother because she has written lots of other reviews mainly about toys and gadgets for small children ( and one nursing bra). When you read these reviews you realise however that she is someone with a small  amount of time on her hands, a fairly deep well of anger to draw on, and a mission to alert the  world to the injustice of badly designed goods that are not maybe as they are advertised. For example of the Stretchy Dinosaurs for Children to Play with Perfect Party Bag Filler Small Gift Idea for Kids (Pack of 12) she points out, not unreasonably I suppose, not only are they very small, but

 "of all the types shown we only received 3 types and 11 in total, not 12 as promised"

Ahh the injustice of the world - Amazon you promise so much! 

She has written twenty-one Amazon reviews, of which there are six five star reviews, while the rest are one or two star reviews. The preoccupation with size continues - "I expected it to be larger and sturdier.";  "Much smaller and flimsier than the tin I'd seen";"Note that they are very small indeed.".

Mainly though she goes for short pithy review titles such as Terrible product., or Atrocious. or Rubbish. or Not as shown! albeit she explains and justifies her position in short reviews afterwards. 

This one is a personal favourite of mine: 

Clevamama Full Length Bath Mat with Kneeling Cushion (Blue)

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

product rating stars Total WASTE!!!

2012-07-02

I love my Clevamama towel so I thought I'd give this mat a try. Big mistake. It is useless. The suction cups do not sticky to my tub and the worst part of all is that it FLOATS!! Needless to say I can't put my baby in a floating mat.

But I don't want to end this blog post on a negative note. Rejoice in the following review

Munchkin Squirtin Sea Buddies (Pack of 10)

My toddler has learned all the animal names with her squirts. Definitely a worthwhile buy. Note that they are very small indeed.

So if you want your toddler to be ahead of the game on animal names you could do worse than to buy  Munchkin Squirtin Sea Buddies (Pack of 10).  I love the way she gives us a little insight into her parenting standards.